I find myself being able to relate to Paul in Romans 7:15-20,
“For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.”
I find myself struggling with this same mindset when I give way to my “self”. When I allow sin, to feed my old “self”, I sabotage my own spiritual growth. It is not anyone else’s fault. Nobody is forcing me to sin or holding a gun to my head. I on my own hijacked my walk with God. Do you relate? Does this sound familiar?
I know that my heart is deceitful.
Thank God that Jesus came and died on the cross and rose from the dead to give us the opportunity to come to salvation and follow him in our sanctification process. Thank God that He allows us to have a journey where we get to conform to the image of Christ.
Self-Sabotage usually happens when I drop the ball and I am not actively killing sin. The fight against sin needs to be intense. We must put sin in a choke hold and suffocate the life out of it. Fight sin.
Following your heart is the dumbest advice that anyone can give you. Don’t follow your heart. Follow Christ. Guard your heart.
Have you self-sabotaged yourself? How did you handle it?