What Men Really Want

Today’s post is from a blogger friend of mine, Rivera Douthit. She is the real deal. She is a wife, mom and she loves Jesus. She is intentional both in life and her writing about leading people to Jesus. You should subscribe to her updates on Facebook or follow her on Twitter.

 

What Men Really Want by Rivera Douthit

(link www.riveradouthit.com)

I think we can agree women desire to feel valued and needed. We have lists of things our men could do for us to make our marriage better.  Putting our lists aside for today,  what is it our husbands really need from us, and how can we show them love?

I asked my husband, “What are the top five ways a woman could love her husband better?”  And I’m not sure why I asked, because I already knew his answer.  With a sparkle in his eye and his crooked half grin he said, “Sex.”  Not only would it be one of the top five ways.  To him, it would be the top five ways.  I have a feeling most men would agree with my husband on this!

Most great marriages have God as the foundation and sex as the glue that holds them together.  God clearly created men and women for one another’s enjoyment sexually in the context of marriage.  If you don’t believe me, read Song of Solomon or Proverbs 5.

In Song of Solomon 4, notice the man (the lover) does a lot of talking, complimenting, and wooing his beloved before she responds.  Aheeem…  (Just a little side note for the men reading)!

While it’s true lovers love best laying down, there’s more to this laying down love than sex.  We must also lay down selfishness, pride, bitterness and the need to always be right and have the last word.

Honor him.  Women are so relational, and we often honor our friends more than we do our husbands.  We feel our friends relate to us better.  You ask, “Well how can I appreciate him when he does that thing that bugs me?”  I know, I hear you.  But guess what, we chose our men regardless of our frustrations!  There was something about them once upon a time we admired. Whatever it was, we need to revisit it and be reminded of why we fell in love!

Those vows were serious business, so we may need to pray for  God’s help in choosing our words and attitude carefully.

Condemning and nagging, those are tough aren’t they?   So annoying, nagging is like a dripping faucet.  We just can’t do it.  We have to seal the lips, walk away, or whatever works.  And though they may never see this, we really shouldn’t talk bad about them with our girlfriends.  They are our husbands and life partners.  Remember, the two became one?  We are to love them as much or more than we love ourselves, even when they’re not looking.  

Show support.  Eve was created to help meet Adam’s needs. We were also chosen for our husbands for this purpose.  We can start by encouraging them in their work by telling them how great we think they are at what they do, or what great providers they are.

Pray for them every day, then humbly communicate this.  Ask about their day, then actively listen.  Show interest in the things that interest them most.  If they loves fishing, suggest that they go sometime, or even better go with them.

And remember the old saying, the way to a man’s heart is by way of his stomach?  There may be something to that!  My man is always happy after he’s eaten a good meal.  But I think if the truth were known, what our men love most about having a meal prepared is that we cared enough to do it.

Be a friend.  Share  thoughts and dreams, and if there’s a problem, actively help them solve it.  Recently my husband was at work and needed two parts from his inventory. He was half an hour from home and I was half an hour away in the opposite direction. He called and told me he needed the parts but didn’t have time to leave to get them. So, I stopped what I was doing, drove home to pick up the parts, then drove them to him. Now I’m not suggesting I’m perfect at this, but as a married couple we need to be a team. To do that, there are times when we lay aside our wants for the needs of the other.

Wrap up with a bow on top!  They want us to care, not only for them but for ourselves.  And, I’m not talking about obsessing over our weight or getting things nipped and tucked.  I just mean get healthy.  Get dressed, fix our hair and put on a little makeup once in a while.  They don’t want to come home to us in our pajama’s or workout clothes every day.  This seems especially difficult for stay-at-home moms (myself included).  I know the dilemma: kids, laundry, dirty dishes, tight budget etc.  I get it, I really do.

Maybe dress up to go out occasionally?  Or I know, we could cook dinner in our heels!!   (Don’t be offended, it’s just my style).  The point is, switch things up!

Even better,  dress up to go to bed.  We get lackadaisical about what we wear to bed.  Surprise him with something sexy every now and then.  Is this a requirement for our men to love us or want to make love to us?  No.  But it’s an invitation most men can’t refuse and highly appreciate.

Figure out what works for you, and stun him with pizzazz!

 

 

“Pastor is not A Job Description

I do not agree with everything in the video, however, I believe that Peterson has some principles that are applicable and some statements that are worth thinking about.

This video has sparked some ideas for posts that I will write in the coming weeks.

What did you think about the video? Look forward to reading your comments.

Weekly Wrap Up 6/2

This has been a particularly busy week. However, God is good and in control. The journey that He has led us on for the past couple years has been interesting. I would not change it if I could. I am in awe of what God has done in me these past couple years. I look forward to what God is going to do in me, my family, and my church as we continue to pursue Him and follow where He leads.

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This weekend is a busy weekend for FaithPoint Community Church:

Tonight we celebrate our one year anniversary with a fellowship.  Then on Sunday, my good friend Pastor Daniel will be preaching our one year anniversary service. I cannot wait to see what God is going to do with FaithPoint as this becomes a milestone in the life of our church.

Monday, we will celebrate the birth of our new little boy. I am excited. My wife and I cannot wait to meet him.

Blog readers will have a special surprise on Monday. You will read a post by my blogger friend, Rivera Douthit. The post is worth your time to read it. You can find her on Twitter and Facebook too. You would probably like subscribing to her blog too.

We will end this edition of the Weekly Wrap Up with this video:

God Can Use You for His Global Mission:

 

How to Listen to Your Community

The Power of Words

Sticks and stones may break your bones. True. However, so can words. When used carelessly or in a manner that intentionally hurts, attacks,

Pic from Flickr by trs 125.

defames, insults, abuses, or persecutes another person, words are damaging.

When you go to God in prayer, God hears your words. It is a wonderful thing to have parents pray for you.

When I was younger, we found out that I had a severe allergy to seafood. My family went out to dinner and the next thing I remember, I am in the hospital. I don’t remember the food, the conversation or the car ride to the hospital. I was unconscious. I vaguely remember the table in the hospital because it was cold. I don’t remember anything but what was related to me by my parents.

The doctors thought that I was going to die. My parents started praying.

Your words can have a dramatic effect on someone. Instead of using your words to be prideful, selfish, cutting, antagonistic, pessimistic, or dishonest, why not use your words to be friendly, encouraging, loving, truthful, Biblical.

Stay around people long enough and you will start to believe what they say to you and about you. What do their words say? Listen carefully.

Some people feel the need to make you into an exact copy of themselves. You have moved on but they continue to show up in your life. They do not encourage you, support you, or cheer in your corner. They only feel the need to correct and criticize. They are not the Holy Spirit. They are like a vine that can slowly choke the life out of you. If you need conviction, the Holy Spirit is perfectly capable of doing that by Himself. He does not need their help.

There are also people that try to speak on topics and subjects that they know nothing about just for the sake of having something to say. I consider myself a good reader. I like non-fiction books and I like comic books. Do not come up to me and start talking to me about Iron Man or the Hulk or Batman if you have no idea what you are talking about.

Don’t talk to a banker about finances if you cannot balance a checkbook. Proverbs 18:2 says, “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding but only in expressing his opinion.”

When it comes to sharing the gospel, talking about Jesus, or engaging someone in a Biblical conversation, the Holy Spirit will give you the words to say at the appropriate time. That is fantastic.

Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.”

Guard your words and use them carefully. Think before you speak.

Don’t go through life having people think that you are a fool. Choose wisely how you will speak. Speak with honor and respect. Speak in truth.

Confrontation, arguments, and debates do happen. Resolve the conflict as soon as possible. Forgiveness is better than remaining bitter.

Remember conforming to the image of Christ means that when it comes to our words and how we use them, we want to talk in a manner worthy of Christ.

Sometimes the best thing to do is not speak at all.

How I Use Dropbox

Dropbox is an amazing tool. It is a cloud drive system and it makes keeping track of pictures, files, folders, videos and whatever you would normally keep on your hard drive much easier. What attracted me to Dropbox is the fact that I can get to the things in my Dropbox from any computer that I own or my smart phone.

Dropbox also makes it quite easy to share files or documents with others. Instead of copying or uploading a file to email, you can click a folder and share the contents of that folder with your friend or colleague as long as they have a Dropbox account.

Being a pastor, Dropbox is helpful. Because of Dropbox, I don’t have to worry about my work computer talking to my home computer or trying to get a Mac to talk to a PC. As long as the computers have Dropbox, all I have to do is log in to my account and there is everything that I have ever placed into Dropbox.

Dropbox frees up the need to store files on every device that you have. You can have all your stuff in one place instead of some folders on your laptop, video on your tablet, pics on your smart phone and that book you were writing on your desktop. Dropbox holds all your stuff in one place and you can get to it from any of your devices.

Go to the Dropbox website.

Download Dropbox.

Dropbox will place a box either on the top of one of your toolbars or at the bottom of your computer on your taskbar. There will also be a Dropbox icon on your desktop and you will be able to see Dropbox as a folder in your Documents folder. That Dropbox folder is directly connected to the cloud and you can see all of your stuff that you put in yourself or that somebody has shared with you.

If you are on a computer or device that you do not own, you can go to the Dropbox website and log in and there is all your stuff. Pretty neat right?

The best reason to use Dropbox is this:

If you crack your tablet because you mistakenly thought it was a frisbee, your smart phone falls out of your car while you are driving on the interstate or your computer gives you the blue screen of death, your stuff is always safe in Dropbox.

I store files, pics, ebooks, church docs and all kinds of info in Dropbox. Why? I trust Dropbox more than I trust my hard drive. However, I do keep my music library on my external hard drive.

Want something cool? For every friend that you refer, Dropbox will give you an additional 250MB of space.

It is manageable, smart, and easy.

Give it a try and let me know what you think. Look forward to your comments.

Taking Stock of Your Church

Pic from Flickr by Matthew Knott.

The world knows that Facebook recently had their IPO. I read an interesting article about a guy that as hard as he tried, could not get even one share of the Facebook stock. What does any of this have to do with anything? Hang on.

So, the author of the article wrote about how he went through as many avenues as he could and came up short. The Facebook stock was not able to be bought by the average investor. Finally, someone asked him why he wanted to buy the Facebook stock. He said that he had never really considered it. The person asked him if he wanted to buy shares of Facebook because he actually wanted to invest in Facebook, he wanted to see the company do well.

That struck a chord with me.

I had to sit down and think about that statement. It makes perfect sense. If you bought stock in McDonald’s, you would want McDonald’s to do well. You are also investing in them by frequenting the restaurant and buying your favorite menu items. You feel part responsible for helping the company to succeed.

You should take stock in your church.

Why do you go to church? You do not go to church for the sole purpose of singing a couple of songs and listening to a speaker. If you wanted to do that, you could sing to your CD and listen to a podcast. It is a lot more than that.

You are not a consumer. The church does not exist solely for you.

The church does help you in the sense of providing you with a community of believers to walk alongside you in your sanctification process. You are not the only one on this journey. We are all called to be conformed to the image of Christ.

The church also equips you for the work of the ministry. You receive instruction and application from the Scriptures. You are equipped (you are being poured into) so that you can go and pour into the lives of others. You get to serve.

You get friendship, fellowship, counseling, and accountability as part of being a member of the local church.

Why do you go to church?

Do you want to serve?

Are you being discipled?

Do you want to see your church grow and succeed?

These are a few questions to consider.

If you want to see your church grow and succeed: 

• Pray for your church. Pray for the people in your church. Pray for the people that God will put into the path of your church that you might have the opportunity to share about Christ with them.
• Pray for your pastor. You have no idea what he struggles with or the amount of spiritual warfare that he goes through.
• Fast. Deprive yourself of delicacies for a season. Pray for all of the above. Pray for God to move in your church. Pray for the Holy Spirit to move in your church like a tidal wave of revival.
• Give. Sacrificially. You do not give out of what is left over. You give out of your first fruits. If you cannot feel a pinch, it is not a sacrifice. God blesses you so that you can bless others. God blesses you so that you can show that you are thankful and give back to God. The church cannot survive apart from gifts, tithes, and offerings. Money does not magically appear in the church office and POOF! all the bills are paid.
• Serve. Find a spot where you can help in your church and volunteer.
• Share. Share the gospel. Share your testimony. Share where God is taking you. Share about Jesus.
• Invite people to your church.

If you love the church where you are a member, there is a good chance that somebody else will love it to.

If you are not a member, find a place where you can serve, where you can be discipled and equipped, where you can learn how to apply Scripture to your daily life. You will want to be around other believers. – Hebrews 10:25

You will be in the process of having your mind transformed by the word of God. Roman 12:2

I pray that you will invest in your church and that you want to see it grow and flourish.

Notes for FaithPoint

Our text for this sermon comes from Acts 17:10-15.

Pic from Flickr by Paul Watson

vs 10     The brothers/church had to send Paul and Silas away by night. It had started to get bad there in Thessalonica so it was best for them to leave. They are doing exactly what Jesus said do, “When they persecute you in one town, flee to the next.” Matthew 10:23 ESV

This is not for their own safety as much as it is for them to continue the work that God has given them to accomplish. As much as the devil wants to persecute the messenger, he can’t stop the message of the gospel.

When Paul and Silas get to Berea, they head straight for the Jewish synagogue. They don’t even stop long enough to find a place to sleep or get something to eat. Why? They figure they will worry about that later. God will provide for their needs.

vs 11     These Jews were more noble than those in Thessalonica. What can we learn from the Jews in Berea:

• They were not as prejudiced against the gospel.
• They were open to hearing the gospel even though it was different from their former way of thinking.
• They did not have pre-conceived notions about the gospel or the messengers bringing the message to them.
• They received the word with all eagerness. They were ready to hear it. Their souls were hungry to hear the word. When they heard it, they did not argue against it or seek to find fault with the preacher.
• They examined the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so. Let’s park here and hang out for a bit.

Their eagerness to hear the word did not lead them to swallow any pill that was placed in front of them. They were not going to blindly believe just any person that said they had a word from the Lord. We too easily believe anything and everything. We will believe anything as truth as long as it comes from a semi-reputable authority; boss, professor, author, writer, book, magazine, video, movie, church. Should you? No.

Just because a preacher stands in the pulpit and holds a Bible does not mean that you should take everything at face value. Some preachers preach a happy, feel good, it is all about you gospel and say that God blesses you for you. They go on to say that if you are poor it is because you are out of the will of God. Problem.

Jesus says, to love the poor and if you do not care for, have mercy and compassion for the poor then you are not saved.

Paul preached from the Old Testament and referred, encouraged the people to search the Scriptures to see if what he said was true. Take notes. Go home and read the verses, get a concordance, search the Bible and make sure that what you hear is the truth.

Luke encourages this searching of the Scriptures as a pattern for all believers and also gives support to the doctrine of the clarity of Scripture, the idea that the Bible can be understood rightly, not only by scholars but also by ordinary people who read it eagerly and diligently, with conscious dependence on God for help. In other words, you do not have to have a seminary class or a Master’s degree in Theology for the Holy Spirit to lead you in understanding the Bible.

Too many people are led astray from the truth of Scripture because they are blind and they hold on to a false belief that the only person that can tell them what the Bible says is the pastor. This devalues the person and work of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is responsible for helping you to understand the Bible. The Holy Spirit reveals truth. The Holy Spirit will guide you in all truth.

It is the privilege of every disciple to be able to search the Scriptures daily. You must study them and think upon them diligently so that you may find the truth and not rest on some sort of superficial knowledge. Studying the Bible gives you a more intimate acquaintance with the mind of God. 

If you study the Bible week after week, it improves what you have heard on one Sunday and prepares you for what God wants to say through the pastor on the next Sunday.

vs 12.     So, as is true when the Holy Spirit shows up, people are getting saved. Jews and Greeks. 

vs 13.     But…the Jews from Thessalonica…why can’t they just leave people alone? Why do they have to cause trouble and dissension.

vs. 14-15     Before the conflict gets too out of hand, the brothers send Paul off but Silas and Timothy stay. It was not Silas and Timothy they were after. It was Paul. Now that Paul is gone, there is good reason to believe that Silas and Timothy can continue to share and preach the gospel without altercation.

Paul gets acquainted with the city and it is not too long before he sends for Silas and Timothy. 

What Is Apostasy?

Weekly Wrap Up 5/26

It is official, our little boy Luke will be born in 9 days. On top of that, FaithPoint Community Church is also celebrating its one year anniversary. I am excited. Praise Jesus! Neither one of these events in my life would be possible apart from Jesus.

Again, I encourage you to find yourself in a gospel centered church where you may worship Jesus with your whole being.

Here is this week’s Weekly Wrap Up:

Pastor Jamie from Mars Hill Church writes How to Talk About Money in Church http://ow.ly/b9TpN

Ed Stetzer talks about one of my favorite subjects. 12 Ways Tech Can Ignite Your Faith http://ow.ly/b9TAk

Perry Noble addresses 4 Urgent Problems the Church Needs to Deal With http://ow.ly/b9TNE

That is all for this edition of the Weekly Wrap Up. Have a great weekend.